I Could Never Regret You
by JimberlyShipper
Summary: Quinn and Puck are together and raising their daughter when tragedy strikes. Only spoilers are for 3x9, it's completely au.


_**Disclaimer: The characters of glee are not mine. This is what happens when you stay up late and read tumblr. Quinn and Puck are married and raising their daughter Beth. Then tragedy strikes and they're never the same again. Just a oneshot, and big warning: canon character death. You've been warned. Only spoilers are for 3x9, it's mostly au. **_

I Could Never Regret You

By Julia

They'd been married for awhile now, but Quinn Puckerman could not get used to her new last name. She'd had it for a year now. Beth was 5. They'd raised her all that time and had finally gotten married. Quinn couldn't give her up, she and Puck had wanted her so much. They had lived with Puck's mother until they had graduated school, and then Puck had moved them to Columbus, he had a chance to keep his pool cleaning business in charge of cleaning pools full time there. They had a modest little house they rented, and Quinn was going to online school to get her real estate license. It was all they had ever dreamed of until something happened that they'd never expected.

It was a brisk morning in December, they had just finished their Christmas shopping. Quinn had just let them into their house on Broad Street. Puck was bouncing Beth on his hip, she'd behaved surprisingly well in the stores they'd gone to. It was time to fix supper. They were heading to Lima for Christmas day, but the house was already decorated for the holiday. Puck kissed Beth, and told her, "Go get washed up and you can help Mommy with dinner."

Beth took off running for the bathroom, hollering out _Santa Clause Is Comin To Town_. It was her favorite song at Christmas, ever since she'd seen her father singing it on a video they had of the special the glee club had been in. _Star Wars_ was also her favorite movie, since Puck and Uncle Finn had dressed as Luke Skywalker and Han Solo. It was really quite adorable how much she loved it.

Quinn had gotten out the things for lasagna, and Puck was hugging and kissing her from behind. "Babe, I can't cook with you doing that." She said, laughing a little.

"I just can't keep my hands off you." Puck replied, kissing her neck. "Did I ever tell you how happy I am being here with you and Beth?" He asked, brushing her hair back from her neck.

"No, you haven't. Not today. But you did yesterday. And the day before that." Quinn said, chuckling a little. Then she went to the fridge. "Oh, I'm out of cottage cheese. Can you go and get some from the store?" She asked, grabbing him around the waist, and kissing him softly.

Puck sighed in mock distaste and slipped his arms around her waist too. "I suppose, but you have to promise to make it up to me later." He grabbed her ass before settling his arms around her waist again.

Laughing, Quinn gave him a kiss that curled both of their toes. "Don't worry, I will." She said, letting her hand slide up into his mohawk.

Shuddering with pleasure, he stepped back. "Don't worry, babe, I will be back as soon as I can."

Their daughter came flying back in the kitchen, hands clean, her blonde curls bouncing. "Daddy, my hands are all clean!" She cried out, lifting her hands to be picked up.

Swinging her up into the air, he gave her kisses all over her face. "Daddy has to go and get something for Mommy to cook dinner. Will you be good while I'm gone? You know Santa's comin' so you have to be good." Puck said, settling Beth on his hip.

Beth seemed to be thinking a minute, and then, wrapping her arms around Puck's neck, she gave him a loud smack on the cheek. "Yes, Daddy. Can we go see Santa tomorrow?" She asked.

Quinn kissed her daughter on the forehead. "Yes. We're going to see Santa tomorrow, Aunt Brittany and Aunt Santana are coming over with Nathan." Nathan was the two year old son of Brittany S. Pierce and Santana Lopez. They also lived in Columbus, Brittany had her own dance school, and Santana was working on her first album. She spent a lot of time in New York, but she was home for the holidays.

"Yay, Nathan." Beth said, smiling. She then said, "Can I help Mommy now?" She squirmed a little, and Puck set her down.

"Alright babe, I'm going to go and get the cottage cheese. I'll go to the Krogers, it's closest." Puck said, kissing his wife and child, and then grabbing up his keys. "I'll be back."

But he never was. On his way home from the grocery store, a drunk driver who wasn't looking where he was going plowed into his truck and killed him instantly. The cops came by a couple of hours later to let Quinn know. She had been getting increasingly worried, Puck never did things like disappear for two hours without telling her where he was going. She sobbed on the couch, Beth was playing in her room, Quinn had fed her mac-n-cheese, and it was almost bedtime.

The next morning, after she had indentified the body, it was time to start calling funeral homes. Quinn had already called Puck's mother, and she was on her way. Santana and Brittany had come over with Nathan, and Brittany brought a cake. Quinn was in the kitchen, trying to find the best funeral home. Beth came running into the kitchen, wanting cereal. Quinn hadn't told Beth just yet. "Mommy, where's Daddy? I want to play." She said.

Brittany told Nathan to go play in the living room. "Do you want us to leave too, Quinn?" She asked.

Shaking her head, Quinn looked at Beth, and picked her up, setting her on her lap. "Beth, Daddy's not coming home anymore." She said, shaking her head again. Forcing the tears from falling, she kissed her daughter on the cheek.

"But Mommy, I will miss him." Beth said, tears gathering in her eyes.

This was too much for Brittany, who left the kitchen in tears. Quinn said, "I'll miss him too, Beth, but Daddy is going to be in heaven with Jesus now. We're not going to see him for a really long time. But Daddy will always be with you in your heart. He'll be looking out for you always." Quinn said, her voice finally catching.

Beth nodded, tears falling down her face. "I'm not hungry anymore, Mommy. Can I go play with Nathan?" At Quinn's nod, she hopped down and headed somberly to the living room.

Wiping her eyes, Quinn said, "That is a conversation I should not have to have had with my 5 year old daughter!" She was starting to get a little angry. She had had the happiest life with her husband and child, and now that was all gone.

Santana sat down with her at the table, it had hurt her to _not_ go after Brittany, but Quinn needed her too. Santana took one of Quinn's hands in hers. "Anything you need, Q. Brittany and I are here for you. I miss Puckerman. He was a great bro." Santana and Puck had definitely had a great bromance after the sex had ended.

The blonde former Cheerio sighed, running her hand through her long blonde hair. "I don't want to have to deal with this, Santana. My husband is _dead_. I am only 21 years old. I shouldn't have to bury my husband." She felt anger bubbling up inside her. Tears started to gather in her eyes. "I'm so _mad_! And there's no one to yell at because the fucking drunk driver died too!" Her shoulders were shaking. "I am not strong enough to deal with this." That wasn't a lie, though, Quinn could handle almost anything.

Santana pointed this out to her. "No, Quinn, you are one of the strongest people I know. You _can_ deal with this. No, it's not something that you should _have_ to deal with, but you _can_. Beth needs you to."

There was Beth to consider. Quinn was going to have to try and not go crazy for her sake. All she wanted to do right now is go to bed and stay there, but Beth needed her. She had to man up. "You're right, Beth _does_ need me. I have to face this."

That decided, they went back to funeral preparations, Quinn stopping every few minutes to cry some more.

The next couple of days was difficult for everyone. People started arriving in Columbus for the funeral. Finn and Rachel Hudson, and their son James, Mercedes Jones and Sam Evans, who were kind of still together, Will and Emma Schuester, Sue Sylvester, Kurt and Blaine Hummel-Anderson, Burt and Carole Hummel, Mike and Tina Chang, Artie Abrams, and surprisingly, Lauren Zizes. She and Puck had not been friends other than glee club, so Quinn was surprised to see her. Finn and Rachel spent a lot of time at hers and...her place when they got there, Finn and Puck had been close.

Quinn had found a funeral home she really liked, and they had the funeral there. It was definitely crowded at the viewing, Puck had had a lot of friends. Now it was time for the funeral. The rabbi told everyone that they were doing this a little differently, they were going to let everyone speak before they did the prayers and things. Quinn knew she could _not_ speak first, so she prayed someone else would go first.

Her wish was granted, Finn went first. He got up and headed up to the podium. Finn was working on trying not to cry. He had written out what he'd wanted to say. "Puck and I were best friends all our lives. I met him in kindergarten. We played together the first day we met. I liked him, he was fun and he knew how to play Cops and Robbers."

A pause, to wipe his face, and he started talking again. "We had a bit of a falling out in high school, but we managed to get things back on track. Puck was the best friend I ever had. He and Quinn are the godparents to mine and my wife's son James. I can't imagine life without him. In life, you never have friends like you did when you were a kid. I'll never be friends with anyone the way I was with him." He turned to the casket, Quinn had had to go with a closed one, she hadn't been able to bear seeing Puck dead, knowing that would be the last time. "I'll miss you, man, I'll see you one day."

Then it was Santana's turn. She hadn't been planning on it, but she decided she had to. She went up to the podium. "Look, I'm not the most sentimental person. Puck and I were bros. Best bro I ever had. He was with me when I got my tattoo. I can't even tell you the amount of times Puckerman and I got drunk together." She stopped, tears coming to her eyes despite herself. She shook her head, turning to the coffin. Touching it, she said so softly only Puck would have been able to hear, "I miss you and I'll always care about you." Then she sat down.

A few other people said some things, most of it nice. Quinn was finally able to get up and speak, after Sue Sylvester had said something. She stood, leaving Beth with Finn and Rachel. She hadn't written out what she wanted to say, but she had an idea. Taking a deep breath, she headed up to the podium. "So, I loved Noah Puckerman so much. Things weren't always perfect with us, but I loved him. I still do, and I always will. He and I had a nice life together, it may not have been much but it was ours and we were happy. It may have been crazy to raise a child while we were still in high school, but I can't regret it. I got my beautiful daughter out of it, and I know Puck was happy, he so loved being here with Beth." Tears had filled her eyes, and her knees started to buckle. She grabbed a hold of the podium. Rachel got up to stand with her, taking Quinn's hand.

Quinn gave her a slight smile, and then went back to talking. "I am never going to be loved like I was with Puck. We had a rocky beginning, but once we both stopped trying to sabatoge the relationship, we worked everything out. I never imagined that Noah Puckerman could settle down and just want to be with me, but he did. And I was _happy_. We had gone out Christmas shopping the day he was killed. I was going to make lasagna for dinner. I asked him to go out and get some cottage cheese. We were out." Tears were still pouring down her face. "It is my fault that we're all here. I had him go out. That is the reason that he was hit." It was like it had just occurred to her, and she apologized, leaving the room.

There was some talking, and Rachel followed her. Quinn was pacing in one of the other sitting rooms. Rachel stood near her, wanting to touch her, help her, but she wasn't sure if Quinn would be receptive to it. "Quinn, Noah dying is not your fault."

Quinn wiped her face. Why was she always at her most vulnerable with Rachel Hudson? It just made no sense to her. "Yes, it is, Rachel. If I hadn't asked him to go and get cottage cheese, he'd still be here. It was my fault he was out. I did this to him. It was me."

"No, Quinn, you can't beat yourself up like that, you didn't know what that was going to do. You just did something normal and asked your husband to go and get something from the store. Please, don't do this to yourself. You know that it was the drunk driver that wasn't watching where he was going." Rachel hated that Quinn was doing this to herself.

It was nice that Rachel was trying to make her feel better, but she just couldn't stop beating herself up. "I'm sorry, Rachel, I just can't believe that. Please, I just need some space to breathe." Rachel wanted to go back inside. Quinn sighed and stood there, breathing hard.

Later, after the funeral was over, and Puck was lying in the ground, she sat by his grave, to have a last moment alone with him. Rachel and Finn were keeping an eye on Beth for her at the house. Everyone was there, sitting shiva for Puck. It was a Jewish thing, Quinn didn't really understand it. But she knew Rachel did. There was going to be plenty to eat when she got back. She had brought a blanket, and she was sitting on it now. "Babe, it's me. I miss you."

Tears were falling down her face, and she reached out to touch the gravestone. "I'm so sorry. I hope that you know that, up there in heaven. You know that I love you. So much. So does Beth, she misses you too."

Before she could say anything else, Noah's spirit appeared in front of her. She gasped. "Oh my God." She said, putting her hand to her mouth.

Puck gave her a smile, and touched her cheek, and Quinn felt cold. He said, "I love you, too, babe. Always."

Sobbing, Quinn said, "I miss you. You have to forgive me. I am so sorry. If I hadn't asked you to go out, you'd still be here."

"No, babe, it's not your fault. You were just asking me to get something from the store. I had to stay behind to make sure you knew that. That you knew I love you, and I love Beth. You just worry about raising her. I know you can do it. As long as I know you are going to be fine, I can move on."

Quinn wiped at her face. Knowing Puck didn't blame her made her feel a lot better. "I can, I don't want you to not be able to move on. Beth and I will miss you and love you always but you have to move on. Please, I just want to know that you're where you're supposed to be."

Pressing a kiss to her forehead, he said, "I've got to go now. I'm so sorry. I'll wait for you. Make sure it's a good long time, OK?" He gave her one last kiss. "I love you. Always." Then he was gone.

Tears were falling down her face, but she pressed her fingers to the gravestone, running her fingers over Noah's name. "Love you. Forever." She murmured, and got up to go home. She could do this. For Beth.

_**Author's note: So, anyone who made it through, I am sorry. :( I totally hate myself that I had to write this, I love Puck. Anyway, leave a review if you want. **_


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